Luke's, Thursday

[geniuswithasmartphone]

The staff's new look momentarily distracted Hardison from noticing their vacant smiles--for a second, he'd almost thought it was normal Fandom weirdness that had them dressing up like hot dogs. It wasn't until the Cook looked up from the stove to wave cheerfully at him--instead of ignoring him as was right and proper--that Hardison realized that they, too, had been replaced by creepy pod people.

Snarling at them to stay in the kitchen unless specifically needed to do their jobs, Hardison walked over to the Specials board and erased it. There were a lot more important information to be kept track of than the food on-order today (flapjacks, flapjacks and more flapjacks, in case anyone cared). When he was done noting everything he could think of on the board, he kept it propped up in the window to attract attention. Maybe with more info than what they had, they could figure something out.

That done, Hardison set up at a booth with several laptops, trying to figure out how they were keeping communications down and seeing if there was anything he could break. He was in the mood to cause a lot of trouble today.

TODAY'S SPECIALS
flapjacks!

People w/out Powers:
*Atton
*Jono
*Bo?
*Raven

People w/out Weapons:
*Cara
*Zoe

Missing People:
*Eliot
*Parker
*Surreal?
*Cosima

Other Weird Stuff
*Pets missing and/or wrong
*Most PEOPLE wrong (LOOK AT LUKE'S STAFF)
*Force field
*No communication from outside island
*Anyone's phone working?
*Jono healed(?)
*Creepy towers

YO! PAY ATTENTION TO THIS PART!
According to a chat I had with someone named Kinzie, we're actually in some kind of Fandom sim, a lot like the Danger Shop, only up on some weird alien spaceship. As an FYI.

FEEL FREE TO ADD!

Comments

[toosmart4zin.livejournal.com]

"My name is Kinzie Kensington," Kinzie said, "For like the umpteenth time this week. I'm trying to help you people out with your little alien abduction problem - not that there'd be an alien abduction problem if anybody ever listened to me--"

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" Hardison said, putting up a hand to slow Kinzie's roll, even though she wasn't actually there. "Seriously? Seriously? Did you seriously just say 'alien abduction'?!"

And, like, mean it?

"A'ight, girl, you need to keep talkin' cause what?"

[toosmart4zin.livejournal.com]

"So yesterday I detected a GIANT ALIEN SPACE SHIP coming down above Maryland. It sucked a whole bunch of you up and left everyone down in your little town, scrambling."

She let out an annoyed sigh.

"Please tell me you're on board? I've been trying to hack into this ship for a day now."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Hardison looked around at his staff, still dressed in hot dog costumes and grinning. Thought about the weird voice that had declared itself the emperor of...something. Remembered the towers and the weird Febreeze smell outside and the tear in reality that had sucked up the two people he loved best in the world.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I can say I'm on board this ship." And in any other circumstance, he'd be thrilled. WAY TO FUCK UP EVERYTHING, ZINYAK. "You need help hackin'? Girl you came to exactly the right brother to help you out with that. Tell me what you need."

[toosmart4zin.livejournal.com]

"I need whatever data you can get from your end," Kinzie said. "What's it like on your end? I figured they have you in a holding area of some sort..."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"It looks pretty much like Fandom," Hardison admitted, setting up a data collection feed to act as an info dump for her. "There are a few towers that could serve as set props from War of the Worlds, but other'n that, it's pretty spot-on. But weapons don't seem to be workin' here. People's powers also stopped workin'. Some folks've gone flat-out missin'." He outlined the basics of what he'd found for her, including names when he had them. "You know anythin' about this Zinyak guy?"

It would be useful if she did, but he could see her just being involved due to GIANT FUCKING SPACESHIP.

[toosmart4zin.livejournal.com]

"Nope," Kinzie said, faux-cheerfully. "I mean, I've been tracking his ship for a couple of weeks, but the Feds didn't want to listen to me. Or the President."

Was she ever going to stop complaining about that? Probably not.

"You know, I'm getting your signal from right in the middle of a really active program," she said. She frowned. "I'm thinking.... maybe you are the program?"

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Yo, is there anyway you can send me the data you're lookin' at?" Hardison asked. "I would kill to see what this looks like from the outside. An' I might be able to figure a few things about what they got goin' on." Scrubbing a hand over his face, he added, "So, like...this is some kind of simulation, you think? It would explain why they got the surroundings're right, but all the people are off."

Like some kind of Danger Shop sim, only with kidnapping and aliens.

[toosmart4zin.livejournal.com]

"I managed to override your audio channel so you can hear me," Kinzie said. (And the click-clacking of her fingers on the keys.) "Maaaybe if you get me the IP and an open port on whatever machine you've got, I can write in some code and send you a burst of data?"

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Yo, not a problem," Hardison said. Even in some kind of alien sim or not, the day he couldn't handle a simple request like that--on his own machines, no less!--was the day he gave up on everything and became a sad hermit.

Possibly in a desert. It seemed to be the thing to do.

[toosmart4zin.livejournal.com]

"All right, then I'm going to go tell your lazy homefront to get cracking because apparently we're busting you out of a giant computer simulation," Kinzie said.

She readied the data pulse as she was talking, because eh, that was easy.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

These two needed to become best friends.

"Man, it's a computer sim, how hard can it be?" Hardison asked. "While I'm in here, I'mma see if I can hack directly into the ship's mainframe. Once I figure out how the system works--" because of course he would figure it out, dammit, "--I can pass that data onto you lot, too. Who's down there workin' on this?"

[toosmart4zin.livejournal.com]

"I dunno what their names are. I think half of them haven't had their balls drop - whatever balls they have," Kinzie said. She waved her hand, then realized Hardison couldn't actually, you know, see that. "Data pulse incoming!"

She slid it neatly into the code that made up Hardison's simulated fake computer.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

It was real enough in the sim and that was what mattered to Hardison.

"Awesome," he said as his screen began filling up with the information from the data spike. "Is there anythin' else you need from me right now?"

Or could he ignore everyone and everything for a little bit and go through the data point by point in an orgy of information?

[toosmart4zin.livejournal.com]

"I should be able to hold this connection now that we've got it set up, unless they start shifting ports on me," Kinzie replied. "I'll get back to you if we have anything. Get to work, keep working, sleep is for the weak."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"You sound exactly like my kinda person," Hardison said, with the first genuine laugh since he'd seen his partners vanish. "I ain't gonna stop workin' until I've cracked this code an' used it to bust Zinyak's face open. He started the day by readin' Jane Austen to us. For an hour."

Screw this guy.