Luke's, Thursday

[geniuswithasmartphone]

The staff's new look momentarily distracted Hardison from noticing their vacant smiles--for a second, he'd almost thought it was normal Fandom weirdness that had them dressing up like hot dogs. It wasn't until the Cook looked up from the stove to wave cheerfully at him--instead of ignoring him as was right and proper--that Hardison realized that they, too, had been replaced by creepy pod people.

Snarling at them to stay in the kitchen unless specifically needed to do their jobs, Hardison walked over to the Specials board and erased it. There were a lot more important information to be kept track of than the food on-order today (flapjacks, flapjacks and more flapjacks, in case anyone cared). When he was done noting everything he could think of on the board, he kept it propped up in the window to attract attention. Maybe with more info than what they had, they could figure something out.

That done, Hardison set up at a booth with several laptops, trying to figure out how they were keeping communications down and seeing if there was anything he could break. He was in the mood to cause a lot of trouble today.

TODAY'S SPECIALS
flapjacks!

People w/out Powers:
*Atton
*Jono
*Bo?
*Raven

People w/out Weapons:
*Cara
*Zoe

Missing People:
*Eliot
*Parker
*Surreal?
*Cosima

Other Weird Stuff
*Pets missing and/or wrong
*Most PEOPLE wrong (LOOK AT LUKE'S STAFF)
*Force field
*No communication from outside island
*Anyone's phone working?
*Jono healed(?)
*Creepy towers

YO! PAY ATTENTION TO THIS PART!
According to a chat I had with someone named Kinzie, we're actually in some kind of Fandom sim, a lot like the Danger Shop, only up on some weird alien spaceship. As an FYI.

FEEL FREE TO ADD!

Comments

[bigdamnprincipal]

Zoe's first order of business was to get Grace seated at a table and get her a stack of flapjacks that would keep her occupied for a bit. Then, she looked over the list, and added her own name under "People w/out weapons." If she had her guns, it might have taken slightly longer to notice that something was wrong.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Hey, sup," Hardison said, recognizing the principal from the Welcome Picnic at the beginning of the summer. You know, back when things had been slightly more sane. He gave her little girl a wave and a smile, too, wondering if he could find some crayons without needing to ask the staff to help him look. "Normally you'd get a better greeting here, but I don't think anyone's rightly happy to see anyone here."

[bigdamnprincipal]

"I'd be happier if my phone worked and I could check on the rest of my family," Zoe said. "It's reassuring to know I'm not the only one dealing with that though. Are the missing people folks who aren't here?"

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Word," Hardison agreed, hand going unconsciously to his ear where his earbud lay useless and inert. "I sunoo who Surreal is, but Parker an' Eliot--they were here. With me. I saw 'em vanish--like a piece of the world just opened up and then went through an' were gone."

[bigdamnprincipal]

"Surreal is an alumni of the school," Zoe said, sighing in commiseration. "How much do you want to bet our new friend Zinyak has something to do with your friends disappearing?"

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Better question is how much pain Zinyak's gonna be in when I get ahold of him," Hardison muttered.

Which was still strictly less than it would be if Parker "My Taser is My New Best Friend" and Eliot "Punching Helps Me Express Emotions" Spencer got hold of him first.

"This ain't somebody y'all dealt with before, is it?" he asked. "I mean, I know I ain't been here long, but how many different people can invade it for their own weird purposes?"

Forgive him, Zoe. He was still new.

[bigdamnprincipal]

The deep sigh Zoe gave might have answered some of that question. "No, I've never heard of this man. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be an end to the number of radars Fandom is on. Luckily, most of the people who invade respond to a punch to the face."

[toosmart4zin.livejournal.com]

There'd been a flare-up in the sim's systems early that morning. Someone had had prolonged access to the audio systems. Kinzie... Kinzie could work with that.

She rerouted a few datalines, set up her own custom Skype client and tapped into that particular audiostream. Who knew? Maybe she'd get somewhere.

"Hello? Helloooooooooooo?"

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Hardison startled, nearly knocking over his bottle of soda. He was not expecting contact over any channel--not after seeing how neatly they were cut off inside this force field. "Hello?" he responded, mopping up his spill before it could damage his laptop. "Who's this? I don't recognize your voice."

[toosmart4zin.livejournal.com]

"My name is Kinzie Kensington," Kinzie said, "For like the umpteenth time this week. I'm trying to help you people out with your little alien abduction problem - not that there'd be an alien abduction problem if anybody ever listened to me--"

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" Hardison said, putting up a hand to slow Kinzie's roll, even though she wasn't actually there. "Seriously? Seriously? Did you seriously just say 'alien abduction'?!"

And, like, mean it?

"A'ight, girl, you need to keep talkin' cause what?"

[toosmart4zin.livejournal.com]

"So yesterday I detected a GIANT ALIEN SPACE SHIP coming down above Maryland. It sucked a whole bunch of you up and left everyone down in your little town, scrambling."

She let out an annoyed sigh.

"Please tell me you're on board? I've been trying to hack into this ship for a day now."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Hardison looked around at his staff, still dressed in hot dog costumes and grinning. Thought about the weird voice that had declared itself the emperor of...something. Remembered the towers and the weird Febreeze smell outside and the tear in reality that had sucked up the two people he loved best in the world.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I can say I'm on board this ship." And in any other circumstance, he'd be thrilled. WAY TO FUCK UP EVERYTHING, ZINYAK. "You need help hackin'? Girl you came to exactly the right brother to help you out with that. Tell me what you need."

[boneyard_girl]

Ada came slinking in, sticking to the wall and looking like she was about to bolt any moment. Probably because she was completely weird-ed out, and hadn't eaten anything since yesterday since she didn't trust a damn thing that was going on, especially not the food.

But she'd heard the radio broadcast, so here she was. She scratched Cosima's name on the Special's board, and then found a booth to curl up in and watch everyone from an angry, angular huddle.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Oh, Ada, you had come to entirely the right place.

"Hey," he said, keeping a respectful distance away. In fact, he barely looked up at her, just once to give her a nod and then back to what he was working on. "Cosima--you wake up an' she was gone? Or did you watch her vanish?"

[boneyard_girl]

"I woke up, no roommate," Ada said neutrally, giving the dude a wary once-over. "And I was in the park, not my room."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"A'ight, so you want the truth that's gonna sound like bullshit, or some bullshit that'll at least sound true?" Hardison asked.

[boneyard_girl]

"The truth always sounds like bullshit," said the mermaid's daughter, rolling her eyes. "That's why it's the truth."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"It's gonna sound even more like bullshit than usual," Hardison said. "So, odds are, your roommate's okay. Turns out that a lot of us've been abducted by some asshole aliens an' this whole thing is an elaborate simulation, which is why it's all kinds of weird, but only in subtle ways."

On the plus side, it probably meant the food was fine?

[tigerundercover]

Raven added her name to the list of people without powers, then came over to peer suspiciously at the flapjacks.

"Your staff is dressed up like hot dogs," she said unnecessarily. "Do you suppose that and the Jane Austen is all some sort of obscure interrogation technique?"

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Even on a normal day, I wouldn't be surprised to find my staff dressed up like hot dogs," Hardison said. Normally, he'd argue that the staff wasn't his, that he didn't even technically work at Luke's, but that was so far from the point right now...Plus, the way he felt when he'd seen their vacant smiles suggested he might be a little more attached to the place than he'd let on. "I think that whoever this Zinyak guy is, he needs better hobbies all the damn way around."

He nodded at her. "How you doin', girl? Holdin' up a'ight?"

[tigerundercover]

"Clothes are itchy," Raven said. All of them were. All the time. Which would be why she was wearing the least amount of them she felt she could get away with in modern society. Aka a tube top and short shorts. "But yeah, I'm okay. At least this time I'm not convinced I'm a Soviet spy."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Down with the tyranny of pants," Hardison said solemnly, holding out a fist. "An', nah. The reality of what's goin' on is way weirder'n that."

Soviets were at least on Earth.

[tigerundercover]

Raven had been around the future long enough to have worked out fistbumping, fortunately. Her effort here was a little half-assed, but she figured her teacher would understand, given the circumstances.

"That time it was all caused by some sort of world-bending door." She'd been involved in solving that problem and she still didn't understand it. "What's going on this time? He said something about 'citizens of simulation forty-seven or something?"

[geniuswithasmartphone]

He was pretty sure he'd taught her how to fistbump. Because he was a responsible teacher who cared about his students' welfare.

"We've been kidnapped by some aliens who stuck us in some kinda computer simulation. Ain't unlike class last semester, except that we can't get out at the end of the period. But that's why everything's so weird up here. We're literally on a spaceship, dealin' with aliens' ideas of what Fandom is like."